Friday night I did not sleep a wink. I layed down at 4:30 am but stayed awake. At 5:30 I woke Michael up asking if we could get up a head to Lowe's to pick up what we need to start tiling the house. We worked all day yesterday and I was exhausted by last night. I went to bed around 10:30 and slept like a rock until 12:30 today. I'm obviously still up tonight at 3:30.
I am leaning closer towards going back to work at my old job if I am not pregnant this cycle. They told me when I left that anytime I wanted to come back, to let them know and they'll find a place for me. I don't really want my old position back. Doing something that I don't have to think at, like receptionist, would be fine by me. We'll see how things go.
I started a new blog. It's called "My New Normal" and it's a place for me to post the "normal" things in my life. You can find a link in my profile if you would like to take a look.
Other than that, I have had too many other things on my mind the last few days to be too sad. It's been nice I guess, but I do feel guilty for enjoying myself or being too happy.
Monday, April 6, 2009
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Don't be too hard on yourself when you have a good day hun. I know how you feel though, and it's tough to get through that guilty feeling, but the more you do it, the easier it gets.
ReplyDeleteWhat helped me to get passed the guilty feeling was to remind myself that Cameron wouldn't want to see me so sad all of the time. He grew to know and love the happy, caring, smiling person that I was in the time I had with him. I couldn't let that slip away - I had to smile again! For myself, my family, and for Cameron!
I know Dylan feels the same! He wants to see you smile again!
Don't beat yourself up. I remember feeling guilty when I had a few days of light shining in. It sounds like it works out well to keep busy during the day. I also remember all of my blog posts in the beginning being written in the wee hours of the morning, so I can relate to your sleep issues. I'm glad to hear you are feeling a little more peaceful, no matter how long that lasts, it is nice to hear you aren't at the bottom of the bottom every minute of the day.
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