Friday, March 27, 2009


I had another sleepless night last night, which resulted in me sleeping until 3:30 this afternoon, which in turn will probably cause another sleepless night tonight. I just kept reliving each moment of February 4th.

-Michael stayed home from work
-The guys were setting up the forms to pour the driveway at our new house
-We went over to see how they were doing before we left for Tyler
-We got to Tyler a little early and ate at Wendy's
-We sat in the car at the Dr.s office while we ate.
-We went in and signed in downstairs
-We commented on this girl's really short school uniform skirt
-We were called back to talk to the insurance people
-They called us back for the u/s
-The tech asked if we wanted to find out the gender and I enthusiastically said "Yes!!"
-I hopped up on the table
-Tech put the wand on my belly and told me to go empty my bladder
-She told Michael that she would be right back
-Came back a few minutes later with a Dr we didn't know
-They looked at the screen a long time without saying much
-I asked if everything was okay.
-Dr. said they couldn't find the heartbeat
-I asked her to try it with the doppler, they should be able to get it that way, we did last week
-Dr said no, u/s is the best way to look
-I cupped my hand over my mouth and started to cry
-Tech asked if we wanted a picture
-She gave us the picture and lead us out the back door
-We sat in the car and cried.

I remember it all like it was yesterday. It's so vivid. I can't believe it's been so long already. I wish that day had never happened.

1 comment:

  1. That just brings me to tears. It is amazing how we hold onto every detail of those last days. Hugs.