Breakdown

I had my first breakdown today. I thought I was doing so well, coping with this. Apparently not as well as I thought.

Today I went to ladies group at my church in Louisiana (where I am staying with my mom for a while). We had lunch and Bible reading. I was feeling a little blah because most of the 10 women that attended also brought their children under the age of two. After we ate we set out to do some outreach to a couple of families by bringing them cookies and letting them know we were thinking of them and praying for them. We arrived at the first house and at first all I noticed was the swing and car seat. It wasn't until 5 minutes into the visit that I noticed the girl on the couch holding the newborn. It was a small house and the room was crowded. Some of the other women started asking about the baby. It was a boy. A one week old boy. I looked around the room and saw the the front door was open. I ran out as quickly as I could. I just couldn't hold it together. My friend ran after me and held me while I sobbed. Within seconds all the other women had come out to comfort me as well.

I felt silly. Like I had ruined our outreach time. They assured me that it was normal and perfectly fine that I reacted that way. Thank God for friends who understand.